"Chanukah was a time with my family (of origin) that was very beautiful.
When you grow up in a Torah family (where incest occurred) people have said to me, your family wasn't really frum, (Orthodox) they weren't really talmidai chachamim, and they actually were in many ways...But they were split off from parts of themselves that they didn't or couldn't deal with. I have beautiful memories of my family just as I have horrific and traumatic ones. It has been very hard to sit with both of those realities and embrace both parts of my heritage...The spiritual destruction...The Chashmonaim had to go into the Bais Hamikdash (the temple) and witness all that destruction to the holiest place on earth. That's what it will take for certain segments of our community who are not yet ready to go in there and clean it up. For the Chashmonaim it must have been heartbreaking to see what was done to the Bais Hamisdash and find one little (flask) one spot of hope in the midst of all the violation of kedusha (holiness).
That is what we have to do as a community. When you are sexually abused your kodesh kadoshim is violated and you have to go inside and clean it up. You have to be able to face and sit with horrible, horrible, pain. Not everyone can do that..."
