Tribute to Chris Cornell

I couldn't wash my hands in the morning,
'cause it always reminded me of everything.

I hated washing and bentching after bread, 

'cause it always reminded me of everything.

I avoided men in black hats and white shirts,
 'cause they always reminded me of everything.

I avoided long sleeves and women in skirts, 
'cause they always reminded me of everything.

the things I've loved
the things I've lost
the things I've held sacred that I've dropped

I don't avoid them anymore,
'cause you gotta know
I'm here to learn and I want to grow.

I avoided speaking Hebrew and Yiddish words,
'cause they always reminded me of everything.

I avoided praying from a siddur in a shul,
'cause it always reminded me of everything.

I avoided Jewish music if I could,
'cause it always reminded me of everything.

I avoided my heritage wherever i could,
'cause it always reminded me of everything.

the things I've loved
the things I've lost
the things I've held sacred that I've dropped

I don't avoid them anymore,
'cause you ought to know
I'm here to learn and I want to grow.

Jewish holidays brought tears and pain,
'cause they always reminded me of everything.

Birthdays triggered emptiness and shame,
'cause they always reminded me of everything.

I avoided closeness with my husband and kids,
'cause they always reminded me of everything.

I wasn't connected,
I couldn't really live, 'cause life reminded me of everything.

the things I've loved
the things I've lost
the things I've held sacred that I've dropped

I don't avoid them anymore,
'cause you gotta know
I'm here to learn and I want to grow.

My mind and emotions triggered and controlled,
'cause they always reminded me of everything.

I couldn't get away from trauma and pain.
Too much reminded me of everything.

Feeling real rage
crying real tears
helped me remember everything

Facing my scariest thoughts and fears
brought me to joy and acceptance of everything.

the things I've loved
the things I've lost
the things I've held sacred that I've dropped

I don't avoid them anymore,
'cause you know
I'm here to learn and I want to grow.

Now, men are just men and colors don't matter,
they remind me not to quickly judge anything.

Reality is truth and God is love
and I know the importance of everything.

I'm grounded, connected and present today
and I have the strength to face anything.

I wish I could bring you to this healthier place
where we can celebrate you and everything.

the things I've loved
the things that I've lost 
the things I've held sacred that I've dropped

Please don't avoid them anymore,
 'cause you ought to know
we're here to learn and we're here to grow.