SURVIVORS SPEAK!
A letter to the survivors of Chaim Walder
Note: This letter was sent to me by a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
As survivors in the Orthodox community we are aware of the unique courage and personal risk involved in coming forward about abuse by a public figure of stature. We thank this brave survivor for offering her support and validation to those who are suffering, not only from the abuse by Walder but from the immense pain and trauma caused by (some in) the communities disbelief and denial.
Dear Survivors,
I'm writing to you after two
sleepless nights of thinking about you. I'm addressing you with overwhelming
feelings of compassion for all that you've been through. With validation for
all the pain you must've experienced for so many years. With empathy for the
shame, helplessness and hopelessness that I imagine have been your constant companions.
My admiration for you is beyond
description. I am greatly impressed by your courage and bravery to come forth
with the truth and I want to support you in your quest for justice. It must've
been so hard to come out in the open, and I appreciate the fact that you went
out of your comfort zone in order to protect society. I know that it's easier
for the world to deny your story. I know that we all want to believe that our
world is a safe and moral place. And at the same time I also know that your
story is true. So painfully true.
As an incest survivor I know
how hard it is to admit to the truth. I know how painful such a devastating
reality is. How unsafe and untrusting it makes one feel. How much work it
demands from a person. How much anxiety, depression, guilt and shame tend to
follow. How badly we all wish these things didn't happen in our community. Knowing
all this I know that you didn't make this up! I know that it's the last thing
anyone wants to make up!
I can imagine you have been grappling
with this for years. I can imagine your fear of the world's denial and your
devastation when the denial actually came. It must be so really difficult and
heartbreaking when society makes you doubt yourself, but I really hope that you
can trust yourself. Your body knows the truth.
With tears in my eyes I want to tell you that my heart is with you. I hope that Hashem sends you all the strength in the world to get through this difficult time. I pray that you get to a place of complete healing and recovery from this inexcusable crime which was done to you.
You did not deserve it!
I don't know what will come
out of the story but I want you to know that you are brave heroes! You are courageous survivors! This world might be an
upside down place but there is a world up there in which there is complete
justice. You and I know the truth. Hashem knows and sees the complete truth. Just
remember, that's what ultimately matters.
With all my love and admiration,
A Survivor who knows
