SURVIVORS SPEAK!

A letter to the survivors of Chaim Walder

Note:  This letter was sent to me by a survivor  of childhood  sexual abuse. 

As survivors in the Orthodox community we are aware of the unique courage and personal risk involved in coming forward about abuse by a public figure of stature.  We thank this brave survivor for offering her support and validation to those who are suffering, not only from the abuse by Walder but from the immense pain and trauma caused by (some in) the communities disbelief and denial.

Dear Survivors, 

                            I'm writing to you after two sleepless nights of thinking about you. I'm addressing you with overwhelming feelings of compassion for all that you've been through. With validation for all the pain you must've experienced for so many years. With empathy for the shame, helplessness and hopelessness that I imagine have been your constant companions.

                My admiration for you is beyond description. I am greatly impressed by your courage and bravery to come forth with the truth and I want to support you in your quest for justice. It must've been so hard to come out in the open, and I appreciate the fact that you went out of your comfort zone in order to protect society. I know that it's easier for the world to deny your story. I know that we all want to believe that our world is a safe and moral place. And at the same time I also know that your story is true. So painfully true.

                 As an incest survivor I know how hard it is to admit to the truth. I know how painful such a devastating reality is. How unsafe and untrusting it makes one feel. How much work it demands from a person. How much anxiety, depression, guilt and shame tend to follow. How badly we all wish these things didn't happen in our community. Knowing all this I know that you didn't make this up! I know that it's the last thing anyone wants to make up!

                 I can imagine you have been grappling with this for years. I can imagine your fear of the world's denial and your devastation when the denial actually came. It must be so really difficult and heartbreaking when society makes you doubt yourself, but I really hope that you can trust yourself. Your body knows the truth.

                 With tears in my eyes I want to tell you that my heart is with you. I hope that Hashem sends you all the strength in the world to get through this difficult time. I pray that you get to a place of complete healing and recovery from this inexcusable crime which was done to you. 

You did not deserve it!

                  I don't know what will come out of the story but I want you to know that you are         brave heroes! You are courageous survivors! This world might be an upside down place but there is a world up there in which there is complete justice. You and I know the truth. Hashem knows and sees the complete truth. Just remember, that's what ultimately matters.

 

With all my love and admiration,

A Survivor who knows