I crash landed, a hard and painful landing that shattered every part of my identity, my safe world, and my reality. Even as I gasped for air to breathe, even as I realized that my life as I thought it was, had never really existed in the first place, I knew that God would help me and eventually I would be OK.
At the time I wrote this poem I didn't like or read poetry. I don't really know where my poems came from. My only explanation is that my Neshama, or a very wise part of me, wrote them to me. Ironically, Life's Tools was published in a local magazine, in the community I grew up in, over twenty years ago.
Life's
Tools
Heavy
metal tools
tumble
down on me
I
reach out to catch them
as
they fall
I
grasp them tightly
but
I don't know why
the
unbearable strain
on
my arms and chest
tell
me to drop them
they
are too heavy
but
I won't let them go
and
I feel myself
falling...falling
then
darkness and despair
overcome
me
Awakening...
I
find I did not let go
the
tools are embedded
in
my tightly clenched fists
slowly
carefully
I
stand up
slowly...slowly
I
learn to move with them
and
slowly
as
my wounds heal
my
muscles become accustomed to their weight
until
I do not feel
their
heaviness
only
their security
I
am stronger
I
am better armed
I
will keep these tools
they
are mine for life
I
did not drop them
I
could not drop them
God
sent them my way
because
He knows I will need them
to
build.
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