Truth is a brilliant light that can hurt the eyes and make us turn away.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Dear Parents of Torah Institute,
the past few days, many of you have received an e-mail leveling serious
and ugly accusations against several individuals, including a member of
the Cheder's Hanhala. The individual making these allegations somehow
obtained your and other e-mail addresses in her effort to blanket the
community with her accusations.
Over the years, these
allegations have been looked into by several parties outside the school
and have been found to be not credible and without basis, and the other
children in the family of the accuser know the allegations to be false.
are sorry that innocent individuals are going through this agony, and
are mispallel that HKB"H send refuos and yeshuos to all in need.
If you require additional information, please call any of us.
This is a response to the letter that was sent to you by the school, in response to my letter which some of you may have received.
I am concerned for the safety of the children in T.I. I have no idea if you know that I exist. There has been a campaign going on for the past twenty years
in Baltimore to try to keep multiple allegations of child sexual abuse against
my father a secret from you.
It is time to end the silence and protect the children.
I am very interested in hearing who, besides Rabbi's Heinemann and Hopfer, say they have looked into my allegations and found them to be not credible and without basis.
There are three main conditions that allow child sexual abuse to happen and they all exist in my father's case; They are, opportunity, lack of accountability, and secrecy.
I believe that the lack of accountability in this case, and the secrecy the Baltimore rabbonim are desperately trying to maintain, have allowed my father the opportunity to continue abusing children for decades.
Rabbi Hopfer has gone as far as to tell my
family to cut me off unless I promise never to talk about what my father did to me. My family has done just that. I was not invited to my siblings weddings and have no idea who they married, who has children, etc. I have been trying to get my parents and siblings to come with me to therapy for years and try to find healing for all of us. They refuse saying that their is nothing to talk about.
A sister treated as dead because she remembers being molested by her father, is nothing to talk about?
I have been made
an example of for my siblings and any other survivors who may want to come forward. I believe that my siblings deny the abuse and protect my father
because they don't want to lose everything as I have. They also deny the abuse because like you, they don't want to believe something so painful and devastating about their father. I know, because I don't want to believe it either. I have spent years in therapy trying to find another reason for my memories. All three therapists of the last fifteen years agree that my memories are valid, credible, and true.
If you had a child who claimed to have memories of you abusing them, even if you were sure it wasn't true, wouldn't you agree that their was a serious problem in your relationship with your child?
A loving parent would try to help their child, not kill them off as Rabbi Hopfer, my parents and family have done.
If my family and the Baltimore Rabbomin were not so frightened of the truth of what I have to say they would have no need to treat me this way. Please, I beg you, talk to your children and let them know these five important rules of personal safety. Talk to them as you would about street safety, or fire safety.
Rules of Personal Safety all Children Must Know: (from Dr. David Pelcovitz)
1. No one is ever allowed to scare you or touch you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.
2. You can tell your parents anything and they will always be there to love and protect you.
3. The parts under your bathing suit are private and no one is allowed to ask you to show them theirs and vice versa, or ask you to touch them there and vise versa.
4. Anyone who tells you to keep a secret from their parents is wrong and you should tell your parents right away!
5. There are three kinds of touches, Yes touch, No touch, and, I don't know touch.
Examples: Yes touch: Someone you love hugs you.
No touch: Someone hits you.
I don't know touch. Any touch that is confusing that you aren't sure about, tell your parents right away and they will help you understand if it was OK or not.
Please do not let my father hurt one more child the way I was hurt.
Pease do not let your child be the next korbon for the
sake of community image.
The parents who don't take this seriously, who scoff at my
message, are the ones whose children are likely the most vulnerable. My father knows which children have parents who
would never believe them.
have never spoken to the three individuals who signed the letter from
the school. Please ask them why they have not tried to contact me.
Please feel free to contact me yourself if you have any further questions.